Does Anyone Read Here Anymore?

I have been gone so long that I don't even know if anyone still comes by to visit this blog. So much has happened in just a year and especially this year. This is a year I never want to repeat. Do you ever get the feeling that you PO'd the gods really bad and now they are getting even?

That is the feeling that I have gotten starting in December of 2017. First, the motor went out on our Jeep. We had to secure a loan for repairs. Keep in mind we are still paying the note for this vehicle.

In April I had a very serious fall and broke my arm. It needed surgical repairs with hardware. Afterward ten weeks in a cast and the rest of the summer in occupational therapy and doctor visits. Yay me!

A quick note here. Jot this down real quick if you fall just let it happen. Don't try to be a drama queen or king like me and try to catch yourself by throwing your arm out. It will never happen and something is going to break.

On top of all of this happening is the in-betweens. My mama's dementia has progressed and if that wasn't bad enough on the same day I had my surgical consult with the orthopedic doctor to fix my hand and arm, my dad was diagnosed with cancer.

I have spent what I believe are the most miserable five months of my life.

On a good note, I still work at the warehouse. I went back to work with modified duties two days after surgery. The bills weren't going to pay themselves. 

I still want to on some days crawl in a hole and hide, however. That would be my only vacation this year at least because I couldn't go to the beach. I might get sand inside the cast. I couldn't go camping. I might get dirt inside the cast. I couldn't go fishing because well, I wouldn't have been able to cast the pole even if I wanted to.

In the dark corners of my life, I still deal with loving a son who is an addict. Because of my addict, I was terrified to take any pain meds I mean what kind of a hypocrite would I be?

In between all of this, I think I lost the last remaining friends I had. I mean who wants to hang out with the girl with the dangly arm and that godforsaken piece of plaster and/or fiberglass mess she has to carry for god knows how long. Why is it when something bad happens that is when we realize so many things? Anyway, no use in wallowing in self-pity over it now.

My go to in the past when dealing with the bad blows that life throws at me is to write. I couldn't even do that because I am right handed and that was the hand and arm that ended up broken.

So, here I am trying to connect once again until another sucker punch from behind. Today, I am just wondering if anyone still reads this blog.

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